The History of the Pneumatic Internet

In 1939, little Al Gore sat by a large capsule he created in his backyard to survive the future devastation of global warming. Al had a lot of fun playing with his capsule, but something was wrong. Al wanted other people to have capsules to play with. He wanted to be able to write messages on his capsule about everything that happened in his day and post pictures of himself in compromising positions that could hurt his future career in filmmaking.

Al also knew that there would be no satisfaction in decorating your capsule if only people in your neighborhood could see it. He knew the capsules would have to be moved around to everyone who wanted to see them, but they were very large and heavy. That's when Al had the idea of building a large network of tubes - and the Pneumatic Internet was born!

60 Years later, a company no one had ever heard of, named SCO, sued Al Gore over copyright infringement for the use of "Pneumatic". That is why it is only called the Internet today.

5 years after that, Google bought the Internet and used it to push its cartoon logo comics (by an unknown artist).

4 years later, George Bush blew up the world. The Pneumatic Internet now only exists in the waybackmachine's off-planet mirror.